Who Saw It First?

I often ask Vangie, in Echoes of the Heart, the talk show we do and have done for the past 17 years, over DWIZ-882, that if caught between a tug of war, if not a tug of wills, who would or if not, should, make the first move?

Let’s face it, tantrums, misunderstanding, failed expectations, these are just some of the elements spicing up the duration and tenure of a relationship. Without it, none of the two parties involved would learn about patience, personal space, priorities and other “P” words I’m trying to cram into a coherent sentence. My point being, without these quarrels, raising of voices, setting of boundaries, the said relationship would just go the route of stagnancy and perhaps even the way of the dodo. Heaven forbid.

So to go back to my question, which among the two parties involved should act accordingly? Vangie tells me it should be the one who saw IT first.

The one who sees trouble a mile away and tries to force heaven and earth for it not to happen or the one who accepts that both at times are the victims of circumstance(s) and thus being prodded per se by the outside stimuli, and therefore sentient and knowledgeable beings that we are, act accordingly?

But does it always have to be that way?

Isn’t that a tiring burden to have? At always being tasked to rectify the quarrel because one always sees it first and other one doesn’t? Does this lopsided foresight spoil the one who doesn’t see it and vexes and wears out the one who does? When does the other one say, enough is enough? Why don’t you see it my way? Why must you conduct yourself around the house and not talk to me, and only to other other people present as I were not there or like a piece of furniture, mute and unable to speak and be asked of one’s opinion?

Why can’t I be the childish one for a change? The one to snap curt remarks when being asked about dinner and being talked to politely? Why can’t I be the one to just storm out of the house, check in a hotel and sleep in blissful content alone with no stress, turn a blind eye, as well as turn my back on your plight and bid for explanation. Shut the door in your face and sleep it off till morning?

Why is it one way and not the other?

Maybe because I haven’t done it? I have not chosen immaturity over intractability?

What do you think?

Perhaps I should?