They say that great things come to those who wait and not just the good things.
Coming home from attending and hosting a Wedding reception, it is these words that the groom uttered that kept me thinking as I drove home. Seeing how happy he was when he was thanking everyone who came and attended and how he spoke of the circumstances that led to meeting his wife serendipitously.
He did believe that good things come. However it is the great things that really are worth the wait. His statement belied the old saying that it is the good thing that comes to those who exercise and conduct themselves in the delectation of upholding the virtues of patience and perseverance.
I say this for many a seeking soul, the reality of having to share someone their lives continue to be a constant battle if not a mystery.
I also say this for some people feel that marriage is a Choice. Some people feel that marriage on the other hand is fate; like the end result of the uniformed alignment of the planets to create a harmonious and pleasant not to mention a memorable experience.
Choice perhaps because one would have to choose the mundane task of setting a marriage date, the church where one wants to be married down to the pastor who would officiate the ceremony and eventually book the hotel where the nuptials will be celebrated and given validation by the many number of family members and friends who all will bear witness to that union and hence give it credence and significance.
Fate for some because out of the billion people in the world or in the part of the world where you live in, a beautiful soul comes into your life; knocking on your heart’s door or literally landing on your door step falling flat on their faces just hoping to vie for your attention in the hopes for a date or even another one just to get to know you better.
And to get to know life and in the process the mysterious force that is love is to know that these two principles operate at times within no realm of absolutes. It conducts itself in the realm of the gray, where things are hard to be given a fixed form or a constant answer to an ever evolving question. True, the metrics of love change from couple to couple and cannot be for the most part quantified but the mechanics on how it holds true for people in love continue to remain a mystery.
This is so for species like us that seeks to categorize everything that we see and do and having been accustomed to the scientific way of doing so, the answer continues to elude us and we end up debating if the marriage, the meeting and union of two souls, is bound by the force of fate or of choice.
And yet personally being in a domesticated partnership such as myself, I cannot say that I have found the answers much less affirm that I have delineated the borders that even come to define. Like most, I can only hope to rely on the combination of the two earlier debated forces of Fate & Choice that defined and created the conditions that I have in my life at the moment.
Fate for the most part stretches forth out her warm and nurturing touch and have two strangers meet; weaving both a scenery of circumstance and coincidences peopled by characters coming from both camps of the people involved. Fate sees this development and steps back and let the designated characters act out the part that she has drawn for them and if they are lucky, they get past the first act of dating and the getting-to-know-you-scenes before moving onto the second act of the performance which is the confirmation of the journey of the first act so far and seeking verify that through witnesses and ceremony. The performance thus ends with everyone being thanked for their participation and the rest of the evening is left for the hired band to usher everyone into merrymaking while songs are played and guests dance their cares away.
Choice enters the picture the day after as the two joined souls have signed the papers, made a vocal and written commitment to cherish one another; to have and to hold and to accept each others differences which marks any significant union and which makes each and every union dynamic and ever evolving. This choice also is present during the tough times when voices are raised in protest and over the differences in outlook and in personal persuasion and objects of possession are hurled across the room in the hopes that that message is heard and sent across.
Truly no one Force can ever be devoid of each other without recognizing the fact that both of them cannot truly function without the other; being complementary to each. The meeting of those two souls can easily be attributed to fate but the force of choice follows that up and defines the next step to follow and how the road is either smoothed out or roughened up.
So for those who feel that they have found someone worthy and willing to share their lives with, begin to thank your lucky stars that the Universe has indeed given you that person. What follows next is the Choice to uphold that recognition that this person is in your life for a reason just as you are in his life for one.
And in the journey together, you just may find your answers.
If in case along the road you may find even some more questions to answer. Then perhaps you may choose to do so or just skip them and just drive safely and content to work knowing that the person who chose you will be serving you a warm, cooked, loving meal when you get home at the end of the day.
